Truth: all couples have arguments. It’s near to impossible to spend most of your time with another person and not find something to argue about every once in a while.
But, this begs the question: do successful couples argue as well?
The difference when truly happy and “successful” couples argue, though, is that instead of attacking the other person’s character, they colour inside the lines, and they openly express their true feelings.
At the end of the day, a relationship consists of two unique individuals with their own personal thoughts, feelings, values, and opinions. Luckily, there are ways to avoid having such arguments. It may not necessarily always work, but learning how to limit their frequency will definitely give you more tools in order to keep your relationship healthy and happy.
So, without further ado, here are 10 Common Arguments in Every Relationship (And How You Can Limit Their Frequency):
Lack of Communication
When a couple stops being transparent, starts making assumptions, and begins to hide things; anger and mistrust is generally the result.
Going to couples therapy can help when it comes to communication struggles, because sometimes an outside perspective is just what you need in order to balance things out. When communication breaks down, and each person thinks it’s past the point of no return, they often revert to believing that divorce is the only option… But it’s not! If this is how you’re feeling, check out the Love Flame Method today!
When couples bring two separate incomes into the relationship, it can often lead to having arguments about money. Regardless of whether you’re sharing expenses or paying your own way — the topic of money is a really common argument that couples find themselves in.
My advice: when it comes to shared expenses, clearly talk about and decide who will be paying for what; and stick to it! A plan will alleviate the stress that can often be the trigger for a money argument.
Spending Too Much Time Apart
In healthy relationships, spending time with your partner should be one of your greatest joys; but arguments can crop up when one or both of the partners are failing to receive the amount of time spent together that they need.
Organising a schedule together with enough one-on-one time can really help couples who are overloaded with work obligations or business trips, for example. Ensuring and committing to spending time together – despite other personal and professional obligations – will eliminate “too much time spent apart” off your list-of-arguments-to-have.
Stress Affecting Intimacy
If you have been with your partner for a long time, being intimate with each other can all too easily be pushed aside due to other day-to-day stress factors in your life. This can result in a sense of distance, causing fights about unrelated things.
Communicating honestly and openly with your significant other about your desire for romance, passion, and intimacy is your first step towards putting a stop to these kinds of arguments.
Problems Communicating Emotions
Communicating your ideas clearly is important if you want your relationship to succeed — and communicating your emotions clearly is just as important! When couples emotionally and physically disengage from one another, they might start to question their love for each other.
If one or both of the partners have trouble handling their emotions – or the emotions of their partner – it can cause a separation where either of them might feel as though they aren’t getting the emotional support they need. Couples therapy or individual therapy can help address those issues.
Issues that have been left unresolved can definitely make any relationship more difficult. These might be in the form of personal, unresolved issues; or issues between partners that are left to bubble. What ends up happening is that the arguments resulting from these issues are rarely about the root of the problem! This, in turn, makes them harder to resolve.
I suggest staying open and honest with your partner about the things that bother you at all times; this way you’ll ensure that no problem ever goes unsolved.
Figuring out who does what in the household can be a massive cause of dispute. If one partner works more than the other, they might feel as though they should not have to do as many house chores as their spouse.
Squabbles surrounding how to split up chores can very easily be avoided when both partners sit down and explicitly decide who does what, and what a fair division of household work might be from the get-go!
Romantic Intimacy Difficulties
Arguments can pop up when a couple has some kind of sexual intimacy problems. Whether the sex is unfulfilling, or one person has a lower/higher libido than the other — difficulties with romantic intimacy can drive a wedge in any, otherwise good, relationship.
It’s frequently the man who feels frustrated, as his wife seems to have lost interest in having sex with him. The thing to understand, though, is that women’s sexual needs are much more complex; for example, maybe he’s not helping her get into the mood with enough foreplay, or maybe he hasn’t been emotionally available and responsive to her in other parts of their relationship.
The best way to overcome this is to stay open with your spouse; discussing things frequently and honestly — trying to work out any issues that you may have.
Friends and Family
Another common argument that arises when it comes to family and friends generally rears its head around the holidays. Being the host for tons of extended family members can really take a toll on many couples, considering the sheer amount of energy that goes into all of it.
In an attempt to make it through those family visits, decide, ahead of time, the appropriate length of time that various family members should be staying over. This way, everyone can enjoy the visit and not feel invaded or bombarded in their own home.
Jealousy generally arises because there’s a crisis in trust. This could be the distrust of others, or maybe even of oneself. Naturally, not many people like to admit when they feel jealous; but jealousy can be one of the leading causes of arguments in relationships. Remember, though, combating jealousy is not always as easy as it sounds.
Maintaining open communication with your spouse can lessen the arguments that you have when jealousy comes around, but couples therapy and personal therapy can also make a great difference when it comes to the insecurities that one of the partners may be facing.
It doesn’t matter where you’re from, what kind of couple you are, how old you are, or how long you’ve been together — there are some things that every couple, at some point, will probably end up arguing about. No, it is not fun; but it’s more or less inevitable. Understanding what major arguments you might face and how you can limit their frequency will keep any couple healthy and happy for as long as they stay together!