What makes a romantic relationship “healthy”, of course, varies from one couple to another. We all know that anything great takes time, and this is no different when forming a positive and trusting relationship with your partner.
To build and grow a strong connection, as well as keep it that way, some work will need to be done.
I’d like to share, what I consider, some of the most core qualities surrounding a happy, healthy, and vivacious partnership.
1. Clear Communication
As clichéd as it might sound, communication is always key. It’s essentially the foundation that any healthy relationship is built upon. A major problem slides in, though, when certain people don’t know how to communicate effectively; or worse, yet – they don’t know how to communicate at all!
Truly healthy and happy couples are not afraid to vocalize their feelings. They’ll frequently and openly tell each other how much they love one another; as well as express the things they appreciate or respect about the other person.
This, importantly, extends to any negative issues or problems that need to be dealt with as well. If you honestly want to grow and move forward – you have to be able to talk about anything that’s bothering you! Regardless of how awkward or uncomfortable it might feel at the time, it’ll create a major sense of openness and trust in your relationship – fostering a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
2. Mutual Respect
Respecting one another comes in a colourful array of forms. To maintain a great relationship involves respecting your partner’s time, their heart, their character, and their trust! These are things that you need to learn about them, and truly tap into if you want to make things work.
Unfortunately, the reality is that there are countless things that people do in relationships that actually break down any shrine of respect – such as calling each other names or putting each other down; talking negatively about their partner to friends or other family members; or threatening to leave the relationship. The sad thing is that these outbursts often occur in moments of frustration or miscommunication.
3. Quality Time Over Quantity Of Time
When it comes to the actual time you and your partner spend together, it all boils down to quality over quantity. The amount of time that the two of you are physically in each other’s presence, does not matter as much as the quality of the interaction you are sharing with one another during this time.
I mean, think about the difference between going on a one-on-one dinner date together, talking about what’s been on your mind, or the things that have been going on for you that day; versus coming home and sitting on the sofa, eating dinner while the two of you watch TV…
Of course it’s great to have “chill” and relax time together every once and a while, but it’s critical to ensure that you are both still engaging and sharing that quality time together; maintaining that deeper connection.
4. Time Apart From Each Other
So, now we all agree on the importance of spending time together; but spending time apart is equally as important! Embracing your independence and being able to do your “own stuff” is crucial.
Spending every waking hour together, as a couple, can promote an unhealthy codependent relationship. Maintaining healthy boundaries, and setting aside personal “me-time” is a game-changer in any partnership.
5. The Languages (Or Conditions) Of Love
Anyone who is familiar with some of my philosophies would have heard me talking about love being conditional; as well as how each individual on this planet has his or her own subjective “conditions” for feeling loved. Let’s call them “love languages” here.
These all fall somewhere different on the list for each person, and some examples include: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, spending quality time together, acts of service to one another, and physical touch.
To keep the so-called Love Flame burning, it’s important to communicate which love languages speak to you, as well as map out which ones speak to your partner. Explicitly expressing to one another what makes you feel loved and appreciated helps both of you stay connected. Of utmost importance is, of course, making sure you stay attentive in continuing to speak that love language, and not letting the Flame die out.
6. Showing Appreciation
All too often, we forget to let the important people in our lives know just how much we appreciate them. Sure, we may think it at certain moments, but we don’t actively showit.
This spirals across into our romantic relationships, too. Whichever way suits the two of you best, you need to show your significant other that you love him or her.
Whether it’s done with words, cards, flowers, random acts of kindness, or anything else you can creatively come up with – make sure you show the love and appreciation!
7. Positivity vs. Negativity
Sometimes we just find ourselves caught up in a negative space. Maybe we’re frustrated at work, maybe our friends are pissing us off, and maybe something our partner says will be the final tipping point to sending us over the edge. Furthermore, it’s in this kind of an atmosphere where we seem to notice all of the “bad” or negative qualities about our partner, exemplified.
No matter where you are in life, when your relationship is concerned, it’s vital that we look at the positive qualities of the other person; all of the amazing things that they do bring to the table.
Nobody is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So if you want to be happy, you have to consciously make an effort to look at everything that’s good.
8. Choosing Your Battles
Arguments are a normal and natural part of any relationship. In fact, it’s crucial to bring certain issues to the fore so that you’re able to tackle them and deal with them effectively.
On the other hand, having a massive blowout over whose turn it is to take the trash out should not be one of those times.
People in healthy and happy relationships know all about the word compromise, and they choose their battles wisely and accordingly.
Arguably, one of the most important habits to keep up without a doubt: is sex. It’s a core aspect of cultivating a thriving relationship.
Simply put, the more sex you have, the more sex you want; but the opposite is true, as well… In this sense, the less you have it, the less you want it. This also equates to feeling less of a connection with your partner. Bad news.
Make an effort to find ways to spice things up, and keep your sex life alive and interesting.
10. No Comparisons Allowed
If we truly want to be happy with our own unique, intimate relationships, we need to quit looking at the examples around us!
Our personal relationship with our partner is not something that we should be comparing to our neighbours’, friends’, or the relationships we see on social media.
We are all so intricately different and have our individual ways of expressing our love. Rather spend your time examining what works for you and your significant other!