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20 Obvious Signs Your Relationship Is Over

A common complaint among fresh singles is that they often wish they’d got out of their old relationship sooner. 

Why is this the case? The signs of a relationship going downhill are usually abundant, but people don’t necessarily always know what indications to look for — either that, or they don’t wish to admit to and accept the fact that a breakup could be on the cards. There are numerous cases when the writing is very clearly on the wall, but you just need to be aware enough to look for them. 

Bear in mind that nearing the end of a relationship is not always a negative thing. Most of the time, it’s better to just get the breakup over and done with, rather than delaying the inevitable. And besides, you wouldn’t want to let infidelity creep into the picture… If you think this might pose a threat to your relationship, take a look at this article to figure out if the love of your life might be engaged in unfaithful behaviour. 

Below, you will find the top 20 clear signs that a relationship is over. If you resonate with more than a few of these in your own relationship, it could be time to do some serious reflection on why you’re still with your partner.

#1: You’re Not Doing Your “Usual” Activities Together Anymore

Every couple has certain rituals or habits that become “their thing”. For example, watching a favourite TV show together, or having a date night every Thursday. When one of the partners starts bailing on those plans or continuously doing them on their own, it might be a sign that the relationship is approaching its end.

#2: Either One Or Both Of You Refuses To Go To Counselling

If things are going south in your relationship and either you or your partner has refused therapy, it’s a pretty clear sign that things probably won’t work out. 

If your dynamic is resistant and toxic, and your partner is not willing to even try to work things out, then it’s a massive sign that your relationship might be over. Just like when you’re driving a car and the emergency light that you need to refuel comes on — if you continue ignoring it and never pull over to put in gas, your car is going to stop completely and become useless. In the same way, the unhappiness and unhealthy dynamics between you and your partner are the very warning signs for your own relationship.

#3: Your Boredom Is Evident Outside Of Your Relationship

Does it feel like you’re not just bored in your relationship, but rather with everything in life? Interestingly, many people report boredom as one of the telltale signs that a relationship is rocky.

For example, if you never seem to have anything exciting to say when your friends and family ask how you’re doing, this says a lot about how you feel about your life. It most likely means that you’re not particularly enjoying life as it is in your current relationship.

#4: Your Partner Is Suddenly Spending More Time With Their Friends & Family

One of the biggest red flags that your partner is wanting to clock out is if you notice that they’re spending less time with you, and rather dedicating more time to their family and friends. In other words, they’re putting more energy and time into other relationships in their inner circle.

Alternatively, if you notice yourself doing this, it might also be a sign that you’re feeling considerably less connected to your partner than you felt before. 

#5: You’re Spending More Time With Your Kids Than Your Partner

If you catch yourself spending much more time with your kids than with your partner, it could be a heads up that you – or they – are looking for an escape route. The partner in question is basically trying to try out the role of a single parent, or maybe they just don’t have a choice as the other parent is simply not around most of the time.

#6: You’ve Both Become Almost Too Agreeable

This could appear as a good thing, but it might actually indicate that one or both partners in a relationship no longer care enough to put up a fight. When a relationship is completely “done”, fighting is decreased and negotiating is no longer even needed. It’s usually obvious that they;’ve chosen to surrender to the fact they want to get out of the relationship, so their nonchalance and indifference comes across as simply being “agreeable”. 

In healthy relationships, couples need to negotiate and discuss issues – not necessarily argue and fight – but at least have a concerned discussion. Being agreeable is fantastic, but when your partner is always agreeable and always indifferent, the flame has clearly burned out.

#7: You’re Constantly Repeating Yourself

And this can go for your significant other, too. Making your partner repeat themselves over and over again signals that your interest and passion in them is on the decline. This makes it seem as though you’re not paying attention to them, and subsequently don’t care anything they have to say. If you notice yourself doing this often, or find that you’re the person repeating yourself all the time, it may be a red flag that one of you is no longer on board with the relationship.

#8: When Something Important Happens, Your Partner Is Not The First Person You Tell

Think about this: When you receive a promotion, lose a major client, or win your FIFA football league — who’s the first person you tell? If someone else comes before your partner when sharing either your most important good or bad news, it shows that they’re no longer your primary confidante or your closest friend. As time goes on, this evolves into a stronger link with others, and a weakened relationship with your partner. 

#9: You’ve Been Avoiding Going Home

A dissatisfying or problematic living situation can often lead people to stay out later than normal to avoid having interactions with the person they live with. If you live with your partner and you find yourself looking for excuses to stay out more, consider that you might just be trying to avoid the fact that your relationship is in trouble. Even though this is harder during quarantine times, it still hasn’t stopped the numbers from rising.

#10: You Notice Their Negatives More Than Their Positives

When you’re truly in love with a person, you usually see the “good” in them more often and easily than their “bad” qualities. But if you find yourself in a position where you’ve lost sight of all of the positive things that sparked your interest in your partner in the beginning, it might be a sign that things are heading downhill. 

This is not always an obvious thing to realize you’re doing, but a telltale sign of the way in which you talk about your partner to your family and friends. If you can’t seem to say anything positive about your partner and catch yourself speaking poorly of them to others, it’s probably time to end your relationship.

#11: You’re Contemplating If You Can Do Better 

Evolution, change, and growth are inevitable processes for most people out there. The seemingly amazing person whom you met ten years ago was largely based on the person you were then. The truth is, that you and your partner may not be growing at the same rate. Perhaps they’re stuck in their comfort zone. They might be a nice person and you may genuinely love them, but if you’re experiencing thoughts like “Where is this relationship heading?” or, “’Is this really what I want in my life?” — then it’s most likely your inner being pushing you in a new direction. Men & women think differently about “better”, that at times can be confusing.

#12: They Don’t Kiss You – Or “Love” You – Like They Mean It 

Sometimes “checked-out” partners still engage in doing things like giving you a quick peck every now and then — but if it’s not like it used to be, and there’s no tingles or romance in that experience, the passion has probably also been sucked out of your relationship as a whole. It’s obvious: You’re roommates, no longer soulmates.

#13: You’re Only Going On Group Dates Now

This is definitely one of the more subtle signs that a relationship is over, but going on group dates at the expense of one-on-one dates signals a scary level of emotional distance and might be a sign that you or your partner is looking to slowly phase out your relationship. Of course, going out with other couples can be a fun and healthy activity, but it’s a danger to your relationship if it entirely replaces all traditional dates that you used to have alone.

#14: You No Longer Talk About The Future Together

Couples who are in it for the long-haul frequently discuss their future plans with enthusiasm! They regularly discuss things like what their future career goals are, where they want to live, and whether or not they’d like to have children. Planning for the future is a “vital sign” of a relationship; so when conversation about the future dissipates, it’s usually an indication that the relationship doesn’t have one.

#15: You’ve Put On Weight 

This may come as a surprise to many, but fluctuations in weight – either up or down – can often be a sign of emotional dysfunction. If it seems like your clothes aren’t fitting the way they used to, it’s probably a good time to check in with yourself about your overall health and wellbeing, as well as your general satisfaction with your current life situation — particularly within the confines of your relationship.

#16: Something’s Not Right In Your Sex Life

Changes in sex patterns are not always a relationship death sentence, but when combined with other factors, they might mean that something’s up. You might find that you’re not having sex anymore, or you possibly even dread the thought of it with your partner. The reason for this is that sex is so much more than just something physical. Sex allows partners to be vulnerable and emotionally open with one another — something which is the foundation for any healthy relationship.

#17: You’ve Been Avoiding Spending Alone Time Together

Undivided attention and one-on-one time is crucial in a relationship, so if things have been disintegrating for some time, and you notice that you’re hardly spending this kind of time together, it could be a sign that your relationship is in a rocky place. If the intimate bond you once shared is now replaced with spending time with mutual friends, or even alone, your relationship might have fallen into one of convenience rather than one of true desire.

#18: You’re Experiencing Hair Loss

Generally speaking, this could be caused by a number of different factors; but it might also be a sign that your relationship is not where it should be, and it could be causing you more harm than good! Research reveals that hair loss can be highly attributed to elevated levels of stress levels. To be safe, if you’re experiencing hair loss, it’s probably a good idea to reevaluate all aspects of your lifestyle.

#19: Your Intuition Tells You Something Is Wrong

Your body, and inner “gut feeling”, can recognize if something is off long before your brain actually acknowledges it. You can often sense something in the other person’s mood or body language, even if nothing explicit has happened and they haven’t outrightly said anything. Despite this, you seem to pick up on “something” and have an intuitive instinct that something is out of balance between you and your partner. Nine-time out of ten, it’s usually better to listen to that voice and do something about it rather than shutting it down. 

#20: You Feel Alone, Even When You’re With Your Partner

Do you feel like you might as well be on your own, even when you’re spending time with your significant other? This is one of the major problems with countless couples out there — they’re often physically together, but emotionally they feel alone and disconnected. If this is happening to you, it’s a true indicator that your relationship is falling apart, and you should consider reaching out for professional help.

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Sigurd Henrik Vedal is an American-Norwegian entrepreneur; investor; e-commerce- and social media specialist; life, business and relationship coach; and public speaker.

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