Not many people enter into a relationship with the direct intention of cheating on their partner. However, the unfortunate truth is that infidelity is a harsh reality for a large number of couples. Take a look at this article to gain more insight into the shocking statistics!
So, what can you do to avoid all this mess, drama, and hurt? Well, the first step is becoming familiar with the signs that your partner might, at least, be thinking about cheating on you…
Below are 25 tips that make you aware of some of the common things your partner might say to you if they’re thinking about cheating — or if they already are.
#1: “Around what time do you think you’ll get home tonight?”
Some partners just want to know when their husband or wife will be getting home as they miss them, can’t wait to see them or maybe planning something special! Less faithful partners, on the other hand, might be checking in as they want to know how much time they might have to sneak off or to look into the idea of chatting to or meeting another person, via online dating apps for example.
#2: “Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if I cheated on you…?”
If your spouse ever says something like this, then it’s natural to consider that it’s something they’re actively thinking about doing; or they may be unhappy in your relationship as it currently is.
When cheating is on the brain, some partners might even list a specific kind of person, a location, time of day, or possibly even name somebody in their life. Men & women often share completely different reasons for wanting to cheat, so this is harder to grasp for most married partners.
#3: “What do you think of my new haircut?”
If your spouse has sported the same haircut for years but comes home one day with a bold and trendy new cut, this could mean that they’re trying to make an effort to impress another person… This doesn’t just apply to hair, though; this goes for any major and noticeable changes in appearance, such as losing weight, buying a new wardrobe, or wearing more makeup more often than usual.
#4: “I think I’ll be travelling a lot more for work.”
Your partner may have not even considered cheating before, but a promotion at work that offers them more travel opportunities might be a recipe for disaster. The truth is, disposable income coupled with work travel makes cheating a largely convenient prospect.
People in positions of “power”, especially, have countless opportunities to be offered the temptation of infidelity, as well as conceal it. If your husband or wife is planning to take a position that means their travel time will increase, it’s worth it to talk about your sex expectations and how that will fit into your new lifestyle, in advance.
#5: “Did I tell you how great you look today?”
When someone is at risk of committing infidelity, they often try to cover their guilt behind nice compliments or helpful offerings — partially to distract their spouse, and partially to make their own guilty conscience feel a bit better.
#6: “I have to go out with a new colleague tonight, so don’t stay up for me.”
Of course, it’s only healthy to encourage your partner to get out there and make new friends — but if they begin spending more time with this new “friend” or “colleague” than they do with you, then it’s probably safe to assume that there might be some emotions involved that could turn into something beyond just the friend zone.
#7: “Are you up to try something new in bed tonight?”
If your partner is talking about spicing things up in the bedroom, it could be a sign that they find your current sexual situation to be boring and unsatisfying. While it may be a good thing that they’re still trying to save the relationship you have, it could also be an indicator that your spouse is considering finding their satisfaction elsewhere.
#8: “It just feels like you don’t appreciate me!”
An individual’s insecurities can interfere in their relationships in many big ways. An insecure person might question whether or not they’re actually worthy of being in a relationship, and as a result, create problems that don’t actually exist. And, at the same time, they can often look for validation in other places, by cheating, for example.
#9: “It looks like you’re cheating on me!”
As ironic as it seems, a simple way to tell if your partner is cheating on you is by how frequently they accuse you of cheating. Again, this can be a sign of self-guilt. Consequently, it puts the blame on you, which triggers you to be on the defence and distracted from your partner’s actions. It’s often quite an unconscious yet manipulative tactic, as your partner might get so upset during your conversation, that you begin to believe they hate cheating and would never do it to you! Of course, in reality, it stands that they might have already done so.
#10: “What are you talking about? I’ve always loved techno music!”
Maybe your spouse used to change the radio station anytime electronic music came on, but now all of a sudden, it seems as though they’re jamming out to techno on repeat… Of course, there’s the possibility that they’ve found a brand new passion, but it could also be that they’re listening to music they once hated as it reminds them of somebody else — namely, somebody they have feelings for and want to impress. Even if your spouse is not cheating yet, the fact that they’re making an effort to enjoy someone else’s music taste is a sign that cheating may be just around the corner.
#11: “We don’t need to worry about that now — it’s still months away.”
If you’re trying to plan a holiday some months in advance but your spouse keeps putting it off with excuse after excuse, this could be an indication that they’re not really seeing you in their future. When a person is unhappy in their current situation or relationship, they often avoid making plans or even talking about the long term future. For them, any set plans would just hinder them and get in the way of their new life and potential affair.
#12: “Work was okay.”
When a relationship isn’t quite going steady, you may find your spouse is sharing less and less information with you. Maybe you used to hear every little detail about their day at work, and now it’s mostly just, “Ah, not much exciting happened…” Sharing things with your partner is a sign of closeness and connectivity — and when that starts to break down, it’s a sign that you’re becoming disconnected instead. So even though you thought you’d share more during quarantine, it might be the first step towards your separation.
#13: “You seriously didn’t have to do all this.”
If you ever come home from a long day of work with flowers or chocolates for your loved one, and instead of reacting with joy and gratitude, they act like you just did the most disagreeable thing on earth, it could be a sign that they aren’t emotionally invested in your relationship anymore. If this is the case, the last thing they want is for you to be doing nice things for them. From their perspective, the “worse” you treat them, the easier it is for them to justify their cheating actions.
#14: “What?! I love staring at you!”
That moment when you catch your significant other staring at you when you’re not looking might feel like a great sign, but it could actually be a sign that there’s trouble just under the surface. When a person is questioning and contemplating their current situation, they’ll take any moment they can get to analyze their spouse, and possibly compare them to other men and women in their life who they could be considering romantically.
#15: “Yeah, I guess Sarah is fine. I don’t chat with her much anymore.”
Individuals who cheat on their partners with someone in their life – for example, an old friend or a colleague – might try to stop bringing that person up in conversation so as to avoid an accidental slip-up. When you try to bring that same person up in conversation with your partner, you’ll notice that they might quickly reroute the conversation, making an excuse about how they hardly even talk to that person anymore.
#16: “I’m totally going to move to Spain one day.”
It’s important to note whether your partner uses the word “I” or “we” when they talk about their future plans. If they’re starting to use “I”, it might mean that they’re picturing a future that doesn’t involve you.
#17: “Why do you need to know where I am every single moment?”
When your significant other suddenly starts to become secretive about where they’re going and what they’re doing, it might be because they’re sneaking around without your knowledge. This could manifest in them becoming defensive, and shifting the blame whenever you inquire or ask questions.
#18: “Why do we never go out anymore?”
In a long-term relationship, it’s all too easy to fall into a bit of a rut! If you’re not making an effort to change things up every now and again, your partner might lose interest in your relationship completely, and rather try to find someone who will show them a more fun and interesting time!
#19: “I’m so sick and tired of this!”
Somebody who’s committing infidelity, or somebody who’s at least considering it, definitely doesn’t want to try and resolve existing problems in their current relationship. They often assume that their partner won’t understand, or won’t make the changes that are necessary to meet their needs.
A lot of people use cheating as an opportunity to end things in one relationship and start fresh with a new partner. Sometimes they see it as easier to create something newer and better with a person they have less history with.
#20: “It’s just a bit too hot to be holding hands outside.”
If your significant other suddenly goes from holding your hand every single day to ditching you when you reach out for their palm, it might be a sign that they’re trying to distance themselves from you — both emotionally and physically.
#21: “I’m thinking about joining a running club.”
Of course, it’s important for you to encourage your spouse to take up new hobbies — but if you start to notice that your partner doesn’t talk much about their new hobby, or doesn’t want you to have anything to do with it, it might be an indicator that they’re using it as an excuse to meet new people, or maybe even meet up with someone they’ve already started getting to know behind your back.
#22: “Sorry I didn’t call today, work was super busy.”
If your partner used to message you every couple hours, but now they use the excuse of being “too busy at work” to check in with you, then it could be a red flag that infidelity is on the cards.
If your spouse is not giving you as much attention as usual, then he or she might be giving it to someone else.
#23: “You go ahead and sleep — I’ll come to bed soon.”
If your partner always has been a natural night owl, then, of course, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions that they’re thinking about cheating — but if you’re used to going to bed with your partner next to you every evening at 10 PM, then it’s possible they might be utilizing this newfound time alone at night to chat to someone else.
#24: “Oh, oops! Sorry, I totally forgot we planned that for today.”
Keeping up a double life sure as hell ain’t easy. Since a cheater has to juggle their home life with their secret escapades, they can often forget what’s happening in one life vs. the other life. This can lead to forgotten obligations or promises, repeated conversations, and accidental slip-ups that seem to be swiftly covered up.
#25: “I wouldn’t necessarily consider that cheating.”
It’s not often that couples have a clear, open, and honest conversation about exactly what behaviours they consider to be cheating, and this can sometimes lead to “unintentional” cheating. This might not apply to cheating in the traditional sense of the word, but it refers more to emotional cheating or overstepping boundaries between friends and something deeper. Your best bet to having your partner stay faithful to you is to sit down with them and clarify exactly what “cheating” means for both of you.