Sexual infidelity is one major betrayal society generally focuses all of their attention on, but it is actually the subtle, under-the-radar betrayals that really ruin the majority of relationships out there. The reality is that when two partners do not intentionally choose each other each and every day, trust and commitment seem to fall by the wayside.
The partners may very well be aware of this underlying sense of disloyalty to one another, but they end up dismissing things because it’s not as bad as “having an affair” — God forbid.
Well, I’m here to tell you that that’s not quite true. In actual fact, anything that violates a contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection within a committed romantic relationship can have far-reaching consequences.
Betrayals are based on two things: (i) deception (i.e. not expressing your true needs in an attempt to avoid conflict) and (ii) a yearning for emotional connection from somewhere outside the relationship.
Below are 3 Relationship Betrayals That Don’t Involve Cheating in the sense you’re used to, yet can disastrously ruin relationships:
It’s surprisingly easy for platonic friends to bond in the workplace, day in and day out. Even innocent friendships made at the gym or neighbourhood coffee shop can threaten the bond between two romantic partners.
It’s not uncommon for these kinds of nonsexual relationships to lead to both parties sharing intimate details about one another’s lives. Now that does not automatically deem it a betrayal. Get this: what makes it a betrayal is if your partner would be upset by the details that you shared, or would be uncomfortable watching the interaction play out.
When the partner “in the dark” eventually finds out about such a friendship – which can often be through unexpected circumstances – they might be accused of being irrationally jealous. Although, the evidence for “cheating” clearly lies in the secrecy of the friendship.
Here are 5 signs that your partner’s friendship is not an innocent one:
- Has the friendship been hidden from you?
- Are your questions about the friendship responded with discouragement or phrases like: “don’t worry about it”?
- Has your partner refused to put an end to the friendship even after you have ask him/her to do so?
- Do you feel as though your boundaries have been disrespected?
- Is this friend the subject of fantasies or comments during tough times in your relationship?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the intimate friendship may well be too close for comfort.
When one partner keeps a foot out the door of the relationship (i.e. they’re non-committal in some sense), the other partner ends up feeling unsupported. They don’t feel as though their partner has their back. They don’t feel like their partner has their very best interests at heart. In this type of a situation, it’s common for the betrayed partner to blame some external trigger as the true problem — when, in reality, it’s purely the lack of commitment.
Sometimes one partner may pressure the other to marry them or move in together in the hopes that taking things to the next level will deepen and strengthen their connection. The problem is, it’s extremely difficult for a marriage to succeed if it is built on an intention to create a strong bond rather than the result of already having one. Over time, the shallowness of such a bond will cut through the connection.
This can be something big, such as choosing a work meeting over a family milestone event; or it can be something as small as turning away when your partner needs a little bit of emotional support on a tough day.
In a committed relationship, both partners need to be there for each other through the ups and the downs — no matter how big or small.
Naturally, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. In a committed romantic relationship, both parties are responsible for uncovering and disclosing these preferences and emotional needs in order to understand what the other requires to feel loved, protected, and supported.
Do any of these three points feel familiar to you or make you feel slightly uncomfortable? If so, then it’s likely that you may be dealing with a betrayal in your relationship. This list is not about who is right or wrong. Just like sexual affairs, these betrayals can be overcome if you recognise the problem and make a commitment to fix your relationship together!
Check out The Love Flame Method here to find out more! ❤️🔥