6 Life Lessons You Learn When You Move in With Your Partner

Living with someone teaches you a lot about who you are, who they are, and about life in general.

You may have lived with other people in the past, but you’ll find that moving in with your significant other can be a completely different experience. It’s a time where you have to learn to be flexible, out of love and acceptance for your partner. As fun and wonderful as it can be, it also comes with its own unique set of challenges. 

Moving in with a partner is a long-term commitment, and one the first things you need to make sure of is that you’re both on the same page about moving. You need to be sure that you both want the same things from living together. A good way to manage these expectations is to start by mutually discussing what the decision to move in together implies.

For example, one of the partner’s might assume the decision to live together is a final step towards an even greater commitment like getting engaged; while the other partner might just be looking for a long-term cohabitation situation with no  major intention of actually taking any further steps towards serious commitment.

If you can reach a mutual understanding from the get-go, chances of future conflict over unmet expectations are greatly minimized.

So before you take the jump of living together, you need to make sure your steps are in sync with one another. To help you, I’ve put together 6 Life Lessons You Learn When You Move in With Your Partner:

1. How To Communicate More Effectively

When living with your partner, you learn to talk things out more frequently. Rather than letting the little things pile up you learn to effectively communicate in a way that expresses your needs and feelings, while at the same time understanding what your partner needs in order to feel understood.

Conflict is inevitable when cohabiting, and you’ll come to see that not every single problem has to end in a massive disagreement or blow out. In fact, the majority of things can be solved before they get to that point, by straightforwardly and calmly talking about them in the moment they arise.

2. Financial Literacy Improvement

Each couple will choose to handle their finances differently in a relationship; but regardless, living with your partner means that everything is on the table when it comes to talking about money. You will need to be honest, upfront, and accountable in terms of how you plan to pay bills, who is taking care of the rent, how grocery shopping will be split etc.

You might find it feels a little uncomfortable to talk about finances and spending habits at the beginning, but it’s totally normal. A big part of living together involves creating a sense of normalcy when it comes to discussing shared financial responsibilities.

The great news is that there are some expenses in your budget which might go down after you move in together. Winning!

3. How To Compromise

Any successful couple out there will tell you that the key to a lasting relationship is compromise. It might be deciding what color paint to use on your bedroom walls, or whose turn it is to cook dinner; whatever it is, learning to be flexible and vowing to always find some sort of common ground is essential. In reality, you probably will disagree on many of these kinds of things.

Remember to choose your battles wisely — figuring out what you can tolerate, and calmly broaching the behaviors or differences that you have some trouble accepting.

Being in a relationship is not about keeping track of who is “winning” certain arguments or situations. Sometimes, both parties will have to do both. I can promise you, leaving the windows open a few inches vs. closing them completely will not be the end of the world! Instead, you’ll both just learn to compromise.

4. The Importance of Alone Time

As happy and excited as you might be living with your significant other, you’ll very quickly realize that “me time”and personal space is still super important. At the end of the day, you’re both individual people; with different likes, interests, and needs — so it’s totally alright if these don’t match up all of the time. You will both need to consciously and proactively create this separation in a way that works for both of you.

5. The Importance of One-on-One Time

On the other end of the spectrum, equally important is making an effort to create one-on-one time with your partner; time for both of you to feel heard and connected outside your busy, daily routine. Before living together, date night probably happened by thoughtfully making to meet up, go out, or cook dinner together; but when those activities become a part of your combined lifestyle routines, they begin to feel less intimate and romantic.

It’s critical for couples to make sure they timeblock these romantic moments. If you don’t have the time to reconnect with one another every week, you’ll end up falling into a boring rut —putting things on autopilot. Everybody needs and wants to feel special, loved, and appreciated; so be sure to always make time for it!

6. Life is Not All Just About You

Moving in and living with your significant other will naturally bring up thoughts about your future. You become more aware of how you live, and how you want to live in the long-term. Once you’re living together, it’s no longer just about what you want; you’ll now always have to take someone else to take into consideration.

One of the biggest learning curves is adapting from an “I” mentality to a “we” mentality.” You start to shift away from an individualistic mindset to a more collective mindset; a mindset that includes your partner when making decisions.