Perfect relationships do not exist; not truly, anyway. When sharing your life with another, arguments, disagreements, and getting on each other’s nerves are all expected. Having said that, it doesn’t make it okay for your partner to continuously let you down — time after time.
If your partner lies to you, belittles you, or engages in any other Love Torpedoes, trust your gut feeling — it’s your body’s way of telling you that something about your relationship is not where it should be. Of course, in a relationship it’s unhealthy to be overly demanding of your partner; but at the same time, it’s also crucial to fully know the basic factors that allow you to feel safe, secure, and loved.
Feelings of disappointment should not become the norm in your relationship. If this is the case, the first step you can take is to make some time to openly talk about everything that has been getting you down. Let your partner know, honestly and directly, everything that is not working for you. After this, there is a far higher chance that both of you can work to improve your relationship and make positive changes where necessary.
If your significant other refuses to listen to your pleas for change — or if you notice any of the warning signs below — it could be time to head for the door! 💥💪
So, here are 7 Ways Your Partner Could Be Letting You Down — And What To Do About It:
1. They’re Aren’t Happy for Your Successes
What’s worse than reaching out to your partner to share some amazing news with them, only to be met with them brushing things off, or act like it’s no big deal? In these kinds of scenarios, there’s a big possibility that they’re feeling competitive and insecure.
When something like this happens, talk to your spouse about their reaction, and let them know how surprised you were they weren’t more excited about your success or achievements.
Remember, a healthy relationship involves support, encouragement, and teamwork — not competition.
2. They Don’t Help You in Times of Crisis
A solid partner will be there for you through all the ups and downs life throws at you; always searching for ways to help you out when things get messy. Some examples include someone close to you dying, losing your job, or getting seriously sick. If your partner is nowhere to be seen when you really need support, it’s likely that they are not fully committed to the relationship, and they don’t have your best interests at heart.
This also applies to “smaller” issues, too. It’s still not okay for your partner to continuously let you down in other ways, either. Maybe they don’t want to hear about how your day, or maybe they zone out if you start talking about a problem you ran into at work. When one of the partner’s does not show a genuine and consistent interest in the other person’s emotional status — or does not act in supportive ways — it’s a surefire sign of disconnection.
3. They Avoid Talking About The Future
Keep in mind that not everybody moves at the same speed in relationships; so while you might be keen to talk about serious future plans, it’s 100% fine if your partner isn’t quite ready for that yet. The main thing is that you both clearly communicate your expectations to one another. Otherwise, it’s absolutely fine to move at slightly different paces; giving your relationship time to develop and grow.
Taking the above into consideration, if you are ready to take things to that next level, and your partner seems completely indifferent — you might have yourself a red flag.
Openly express to your partner what you wish to get out of your relationship; and find out whether or not they feel the same. It’s always best to be honest about what’s on your heart and mind. Learn more about their perspective before you quickly jump to conclusions.
4. You Always Catch Them Out Lying
If you catch your partner out lying about something, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth staying in the relationship or not. There are some factors to consider. What exactly did they lie about? Why did they lie about it? First try to answer these questions for yourself, and then confront them to have a conversation about why they weren’t telling you the truth. Remember, if walking away feels like the right choice for you — don’t hesitate.
Lying can sometimes be so subtle, yet it can cause immeasurable pain and damage in an instant. Almost all human beings lie from time to time, but frequently lying about serious issues will completely destroy the trust that is needed in a safe and secure relationship.
5. They Don’t Reach Out To You
Do you feel as though you’re always the one putting in all the effort to keep the relationship going? If so, take a moment to stop and consider if it’s still worth it. When this is happening on a chronic level — rather than just occasionally, like in times of added stress — the partner being ignored can feel let down, and rejected. For example, you might feel hurt and uncared for if your partner doesn’t text you back or call to see how you’re doing when you’re sick.
Again, the first and best thing you can do is to chat about the problem directly with your spouse. If they listen and take into account everything you’ve expressed, then you need to give them some time to actually put those changes in action. Unfortunately, in the majority of cases, a lack of effort means that they simply are not as invested in you or in your relationship as you would like them to be.
6. They Make You Feel Small
Naturally, there are joking ways to play around with your partner and make fun of one another in a light-hearted manner; but if it ever feels like your partner is belittling you, putting you down, or deliberately being disrespectful — it’s not okay. Once you’ve noticed it, behaviour such as this hardly ever changes. You don’t want to let it get the better of you and break your self-confidence down completely. If you ever get a strange feeling with regards to how your partner is treating you or talking to you — trust your gut feeling!
7. They Continuously Make The Same Mistakes
Patience is a huge part of any healthy relationships, but you need to be able to identify growth and forward progress to some extent — even if there are slip-ups along the way.
You can’t expect your partner to be perfect. You’ll probably still have disagreements, and you might not always see eye to eye; but as long as you’re both making an effort to improve, that’s all that matters.
On the other hand, recurring problems generally mean that your partner is not learning from past mistakes.
If this is true for your relationship, you should take the time to check in with yourself, see if you’re both on the same page, and whether or not the relationship can continue to evolve forward. If not, it’s only going to hold you back.