Advice for Newlyweds: 6 Tips To Effectively Manage Conflict for A Happier Marriage
If you’re a love-struck newlywed, I’m here to tell you one important little thing: conflict in marriage is inevitable.
One more time: conflict in marriage is inevitable!
In fact, it’s not only inevitable, but it’s also 100% normal! It’s a natural part of everyday life, and therefore an unavoidable (and rather crucial) component of your “happily ever after” too!
Want to know something else pretty mind-blowing? The key to a happy marriage is not to eliminate all conflict! Phew.
While many people tend to equate happiness with a low level of conflict, a long-lasting relationship results from a couple’s ability to manage the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.
Did you pick up on that? Being happy in the present and long-term future comes from a couple’s ability to manage certain conflicts that are 100% inevitable in any healthy relationship.
Regardless of who you marry — conflict is inevitable. Don’t fall into the trap of a fairytale world where you sit and think how wouldn’t be dealing with a certain conflict if you had married someone else — because that “someone else” would have come with their very own set of problems, too! So rather just quit lying to yourself. 😝
As a result of this, acquiring the skills and fostering the ability to successfully navigate conflict is crucial when it comes to creating happiness and peace within your marriage.
So, without further ado, here are 6 Tips To Effectively Manage Conflict for A Happier Marriage:
1. Practice Physiological Self-Soothing
When conflict rears its head, take a break. Get out for a walk, relax in a bubble bath, read a book, breathe, meditate — allow yourself some time to calm down and return to a better state of mind. Trust me; just try 20 minutes!
2. Soften Your Startup
Conversations generally end on the same note in which they start, so remember to break things in softly. Avoid blaming your partner for anything, and rather make use of “I” statements. Objectively describe what is happening, and remember to be attentive and polite.
3. Repair & De-Escalate
Try using scripted phrases such as “Let me try and explain that again,” “I don’t really feel like you’re seeing my perspective right now,” and “I’m really sorry” to assist in de-escalating the situation and making attempts at repair.
4. Listen To Your Partner’s Deeper Feelings & Wishes
Never-ending problems between you and your spouse create an unbearable gridlock, and they are often just covering underlying feelings and dreams that are not effectively being communicated. Start by thinking about what your own dreams and wishes are, and exactly how you can communicate them more clearly to your significant other.
Next, become better at listening, and seek to discover your partner’s deepest feelings and desires. The point of having this skill is to genuinely understand who your partner is below the surface, in order to accept influence and compromise together.
5. Accept Outside Influence
You need to recognise and admit that your way is not always the best or only way. Accept that your partner has great ideas and important opinions, too. Be respectful of those opinions, and always try to find something you can learn from your spouse.
6. Learn the Art of Compromise
Compromise is quite literally an art form. Remember: compromise never feels absolutely perfect. Each person gains something and each person loses something; but what’s important is that each person feels understood, respected, and honoured in their dreams and their desires.
You need to work together with your partner to find common ground and compromise that will leave you both feeling valued, respected, and supported.
If you put these 6 tips into action and learn how to manage conflict in healthy and positive ways, then a lasting and happy marriage will be yours today and always as you recognise conflict for what it truly is — an opportunity to learn, grow, progress, and live a meaningful life in the present. ❤️